It hurts. It just does. Living is suffering, says the Buddhist, but I’d like to modify that a bit and say, living is uncomfortable. “Suffering” is a heavy term and not quite what I believe the Buddha intended. Life is uncomfortable; that seems to fit my understanding of it. My guess is that the soul takes on life to experience contrast. It’s through contrast that we grow. As a species, we’re masters at avoiding discomfort. Marriages crumble, nations divide, and societies fall apart because we can’t stand being uncomfortable. Yet, it’s precisely this practice that softens us, creates space within us, and allows us to empathise with others.

In yoga, we learn this in our bodies. The intense sensations at the edge of our capacity are where growth happens. Other athletes know it too; they say, “no pain, no gain.” What we often forget is that emotions manifest physically. When we’re upset, it can hurt us physically. But what if we cultivated a culture where it’s okay to fully inhabit our bodies during times of distress? Instead of shutting down or pushing emotions aside, what if we allowed ourselves to feel them completely?

We’re quick to point fingers at those who trigger us, but discomfort isn’t stagnant. It’s usually in motion, seeking resolution. Our bodies are instruments of regeneration; they don’t want to hold onto unwanted trauma or outdated thoughts. They present these things to us when there’s an opportunity for them to move out of our systems. If we could recognize this simple formula, we could learn to hold awareness around big emotions and allow them to resolve naturally.

Tears are the body’s way of releasing emotions, yet they’re undervalued in society. Boys, in particular, are often told not to cry, and we’re witnessing the consequences of that now. When the ability to cry is suppressed, other unhealthy outlets, like anger, emerge. We need to relearn how to cry; it’s a skill that’s not yet widely promoted in wellness spaces, but it’s essential for personal and societal health. Tears could become the anthem of our time, expressing deep love and pain. Imagine a village where everyone embraced discomfort. Issues around expression, validation, worth, and visibility would come to the surface, and each person would give thanks for the chance to heal and grow. It’s all because of healthy tears.

So to you dear reader. I invite you to feel the next uncomfortable feeling in your body as a thirsty opportunity to generate capacity and allow resolution.

Anneliese Joybody